Pursuit to Creativity

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Just before I went back to Manila after my fieldwork in Ilocos last December, an Ilocana groupmate…

Just before I went back to Manila after my fieldwork in Ilocos last December, an Ilocana groupmate in one of the trainings I had in SGV was home for the Christmas and kidnapped me at the Client’s office while waiting for my flight back to Manila.

“Tonette, san ka? mag sand dunes tayo sa La Paz! sunduin ka namin!”

Who am I to refuse?? So off we went to La Paz and because I am so thankful for the…

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A Glimpse of Calle Crisologo… Literally!!!

I was in Ilocos last December for another work-related out of town but stayed most of the time in Laoag City (will write a different post about my almost 3 weeks stay there).

Got very happy when my senior told me I CAN visit the branch office in Vigan if I think I have to but I didn’t have enough time when I visited the branch office so I decided to comeback the day after. It was Saturday,…

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Filed under Calle Crisologo Ilocos Sur Vigan

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A taste of Dumaguete

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Took the bus from Bacolod to Dumaguete earlier this year for our audit engagement. It was actually my first time going there and I immediately fell in love with the small city.

We arrived a little after lunch and the client decided to have our lunch at Gabby’s Bistro.

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Everything looks cute and artistic! The bistro doesn’t have a specific theme, I think they just put artsy stuffs and…

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Filed under Dumaguete food gabby&039;s bistro

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SGV @ 68

Here’s to my batchmates who are able to sustain the dedication and commitment I once had (or thought I had) but lost along the way!

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I’m so proud of you, guys!!! You will be taking senior roles and I know you will do good! Pag nastress kayo next busy season, know that your kaladkarin friend is just an underpass away!

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To the firm that is not just an institution but has become a way of life, I…

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40 things you do not need to know about me but I am still telling you.

1. I stand 4’11.5.. (don’t forget the .5)

2. I’m a klutz! I don’t intend to destroy stuff but some things are just beyond my control

3. I am allergic to sea foods, dried fish, fish paste, chicken & egg but I don’t care.

4. The first time I heard about accountancy was when I was filing up my UPCAT application form. I had no idea what was it back then but I was young, naive and mukhang-pera, so…

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AJA - signing off

AJA – signing off

posting the letter I sent on my last day in SGV

Well, I did not expect I am going to write a farewell message this early J but then, certain circumstances lead me to one of the toughest (if not the toughest) decisions I have made in my mortal life. It took a whole lot of faith – in life and in my self – to pack, what used to be my life for the past 1.5 years, up.

In retrospect, there were really…

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a prelude to my independence…

The self-assessment essay I submitted for my mid-year PMDP which I originally composed for my resignation letter, but since RL has a template we should follow and I need to let this out, hence…

It’s been a year since I started working in the country’s number 1 audit firm. I didn’t see this coming; I didn’t imagine myself staying for over a year though I planned on staying for this long.

So after a year, where am I now?

Still here, but emotionally and psychologically tired, every fiber of my being is begging me to be true to myself and stop pretending that everything is going to be fine.

I am tired of waking up everyday thinking of my perpetual to-do list which was also my last thought before going to sleep the night before and the nights before it. It’s sad that I can’t tell myself that tomorrow is another day cuz literally and metaphorically, it’s not! It makes me doubt my capabilities. Apparently, I don’t know what I’m capable of anymore. My diminishing self-worth is causing me to feel the most miserable chunk of my entire existence. It’s unhealthy.

Am I weak?  I don’t think I am! it’s just that, I don’t think I am made for audit. People close to me know how assertive and hard headed I can get. I can’t change the way I live or at least, the way my job would want me to live, well, I can, but I don’t want to. I swear, I really admire those people in the firm who can go with the flow and can willingly follow whatever they are told to do and those are the people who actually stay longer. Who CAN actually stay longer.

I can’t be like that. I am trying but I get emotionally and psychologically wounded whenever I don’t get to have a choice.

I love my job, I love the firm, but if loving them would cost me the few things I love about life, then I don’t think staying is the wisest decision I can make. Maybe, staying will be the only decision in my life which I cannot make work for me.

I feel so restless that I get tired of everything and by everything I mean, EVERYTHING! I can die of dehydration or just by drowning from my own tears.

Truth be told, this negativity started with the emotional wound our JPM engagement left me. Right then, I made the decision, the turning point of my career. I thought it was just temporary, came slack season and busy season started again but never did I think twice of the decision I initially made.

I went home to recharge, hoping I would come back refreshed, but I was wrong. Going home made me want to just stay there and be happy (again). Going home made me realize what I missed and what I am missing. I miss myself. But running away has never been in my vocabulary so I went back to Makati ready to get the busy season over and done with, again, I was wrong. I don’t know if it is the life in the metro or my job or both that I want to get away with. I feel like, whatever it is, it is a fatal poison in my system that consumes my being.

Yes, I belong in the cluster where being tired can be negated by the happy environment and I’m eternally grateful to God for that. I have the most understanding seniors that materializing my decision would make me really sad but there will come a point in your life when you are in the process of fixing yourself, the wound gets deeper and you have no choice but to stop trying and let go before you become irreparable.

Bottom line, I can’t be in a place where I get judged based entirely on how others work. I can’t be in a place where I can’t get hold of my own time. The dedication is there, but then I can’t defy the law of nature, I can’t be in different places at the same time or maybe, I’m just not good enough.

On a somehow, unrelated note, I don’t want to be in a place where people would negatively care about your activities in a social networking site, i.e. facebook.